My boyfriend and I just got back from Berlin, and we had a great time—until the last night.There was a dark room in the basement of this gay bar, and my boyfriend wanted to check it out and I did not.
On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I'm having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. And these women didn't "turn into" one-year, three-year, seven-month, and four-months-and-counting affairs on their own. On the one hand, I do not regret my time with any of these women. We are also very socially and financially entangled. And if so, I need help considering an exit strategy. It doesn't "just keep happening," ASSHOLE, you keep doing it.If you don't feel comfortable telling your doctor EVERYTHING you're doing "down there," you can find a new doctor—one you can breathe, relax, and open up to (in a different way)—under "find a provider" at I'm a 35-year old straight male, engaged to my girlfriend of eight years. Not one-night-stand scenarios, but longer-term connections. These have included what turned into a one-year affair with a single woman, a three-year affair with a close friend of my wife, a seven-month affair with a married coworker, and now a fairly serious four-months-and-counting relationship with a woman who approached me on Instagram. I love her, we get along great, and the sex is good—if I wasn't such a lying piece of shit, you could even say we make a pretty good team.
Instead, women who knew I was in an "exclusive" relationship have approached me.
But her higher brain functions get in the way, as she has internalized our culture's body shaming.
She has likened me "sticking my nose down there" to "sticking my head in the toilet." Whenever I sexy-talk about licking her, she reacts with a mood killing "eww." But she says she would enjoy it if she could let me. When we have sex, she cuts foreplay short and gets straight to penetration.
We are monogamous for now—I'm open to opening things up down the road—and I didn't see the point of going down there. wasn't the right time to open up our relationship, and he angrily insisted he wasn't trying to do that.
But if we're monogamous and want to stay monogamous, why go into a dark room at all?
Be honest, ASSHOLE, just this once: Is the destruction of your wife a bug or is it a feature? Because cheating on this scale isn't about succumbing to temptation or reacting to neglect.