The latter disturbances are now viewed as brain dysfunctions that lead to self-isolating and socially detached behaviors of the child's upbringing.
But if they become close with someone, they'll gradually be a bit kind every now, and then. Whether there is hope depends as much on the individual client and particular therapist as anything else.
I'm saying this because I've been labeled "cold" also. But, at least in some instances, yes I think there's definitely hope--as long as one doesn't set the bar too high.
That's the topic I'll be covering in part 2 of this post, which I hope will convincingly--and compassionately--explain the child's later "coldness" as an adult. pointing out that an avoidant attachment style shouldn't be confused with introversion.
NOTE1: For the record, I should add that attachment theory also posits two additional unhealthy forms of attachment: namely, "resistant" or "ambivalent," and "disorganized/disoriented." NOTE 2: If you found this post interesting and think others you know might, too, please consider sending them its link. Some people with this style actually come across quite well in superficial social interactions.
Hopefully, this is a relationship you walked away from.
For odds are that, in both cases I've portrayed, you were dealing with a person who might best be understood as having what in developmental psychology is called an pattern.This most useful concept--introduced into the literature by Mary Ainsworth who, along with her mentor, John Bowlby, represent the chief pioneers in the vital field of attachment theory--focuses on the nature of children's attachment to their earliest caregiver as it crucially shapes how they'll relate to others later in life.Here, bulleted, are some words and phrases that collectively capture--on the surface, at least--the various dimensions of the "characterological coldness" I've been depicting (though, of course, no single individual is likely to manifest all these features): --I should briefly mention what avoidant attachment is not.Once they're sufficiently comfortable in a relationship, they can show quite as much warmth and commitment as do their extroverted counterparts.Additionally, avoidant attachment ought not to be confused with any of the autistic disorders.Rather, introverts need to be appreciated not so much as aloof or emotionally unresponsive (as compared to extroverts), but as more reserved, socially reticent, and requiring more solitude.